


Tinsel and Holly

by KeakaSenka



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, Named OC - Freeform, Nonbinary Character, One Shot, Other, Pranks, Pure, Self-Indulgent, i really just wanted to make something nice okay, puns, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21773383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeakaSenka/pseuds/KeakaSenka
Summary: It had been a really shitty week and all Emery wanted to do was curl up in bed and wait for the holidays to be over with. Sadly, that wasn't about to happen with a weirds ass looking Santa breaking into their house at 2 am. What kind of person does that? And what do tinsel dicks have to do with anything?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Tinsel and Holly

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a very self-indulgent fluff fic that I started this time last year and never finished. I just needed more nonbinary characters in Undertail fics and I decided to make my own. It's not betaed so any mistakes are mine. Feel free to point them out so I can fix them! Thanks!

“Lizzie, I’m serious here. I don’t need coddling right now, that’s what the whiskey is for.” Emery sighs and shifts their phone over to the other ear. They try focusing on their book again. It’s no use, they’ve been re-reading the same page over and over again for twenty minutes now. They catch a mumble coming from the other end of the line. “Um, care to repeat that?”

“Nothing. It’s not important,” Lizzy huffed. “Listen, Emery, it’s Christmas Eve! I know you love holing yourself away, but don’t you think you should spending time with those you love most? Aka me and Danny-boy? Especially after-”

“No,” they cut her off, slapping their book closed. “I’m going to stop you right there. We are not bringing that bitch into this. You know as well as I do that she isn’t the reason I hate Christmas.” Really, it wasn’t a lie. Maybe it was a bit of a stretch to say that Bethany had _nothing_ to do with their current mood, but that wasn’t the point.

Bethany and Emery had been dating for three years before the bitch had decided that they were “holding her back from a normal social life”. Emery grimaced at the memory and grabbed the whiskey bottle, taking another swig.

“Alright, alright, point taken.” Lizzie’s voice took a softer tone. “All I’m saying is to just… I don’t know, relax? Whatever you’re doing, just try to have a good night, alright?”

As much as Emery wanted to tell her to fuck off, they knew Lizzie only wanted the best for them. They took a deep breath in and silently counted the seconds until they were calm again. Releasing their breath, they let a small smile creep onto their face. “Thanks, Liz. You know I love the shit outta you.”

Lizzy let out a bark of laughter. “You better!”

“But seriously, I’m just going to go pass out for the night. Bah humbug and all that.” A devious smirk overtook their features. “Tell your loverboy I said hi, by the way!”

“You mean Danny? What the fuck do you mean loverboy? Hey! Emer-”

They chuckled to themselves as they took the screaming voice away from their ear and pushed the end call button. Lizzy would forgive them for the jibe later.

The apartment suddenly felt all too quiet. Sighing, Emery wrapped the blanket a bit tighter around themselves and stood up from the couch. They made their way upstairs, not bothering to put the whiskey back in the kitchen. It could wait until tomorrow.

They all but threw themselves onto their bed, grabbing a pillow to hug. It was so empty now that Bethany was gone…

Shaking their head, Emery forced their eyes shut. No use thinking about it. No use thinking at all, really. Not tonight. Tonight, they would sleep and leave tomorrow’s problems for tomorrow.

********

Emery woke up, an unknown sort of uneasiness in their stomach. Groaning, they looked over to their alarm clock. 2 am. They flung an arm around their eyes, trying to drift back off to sleep. Something sounding like footsteps made their body go stiff. Ears straining, they heard it again moments later.

They shot out of bed and their head spun in protest. Shit, they were still a bit tipsy. Doing their best to pull themselves together, they grabbed the closest weapon they could get their hands on: a ceramic dinner plate. Not ideal, but they would work with what they had. They crept to the stairs, thoughts running a mile a minute.

_Did someone break in to steal my shit?_

_Did Bethany send someone to ransack my place?_

_Who the fuck breaks into houses on Christmas morning?_

Bracing themselves for the worst, Emery began tiptoeing down the stairs, doing their best not to creak the old wood under them. Finally reaching the bottom, they flattened themselves against the wall and slowly peeked around the corner. Not four feet from where they stood was…

“Santa?”

The word left their mouth faster than they could process. They slapped a hand over their mouth and mentally hit themselves for being so stupid. Not only was a creep dressed as Santa in their house, but now the ass knew that they were here! Brilliant.

Upon hearing another voice, the Santa turned around with wide eye… sockets? That wasn’t a human in a Santa suit. It looked like some sort of skull although it was hard to tell with the giant wig and beard in the way. Holy shit. They were going to die, weren’t they? This was some sort of Christmas death god coming to escort them to hell.

Not taking another moment to think about it, Emery stepped from behind the corner and smacked the Santa as hard as they could with the plate. Ceramic shattered everywhere and a string of curses left the monster.

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want?” Emery took pride in how little their voice was shaking. “Did Bethany send you? Did she?” They stood over the heaped over Santa and mustered every bit of courage to look stronger than they actually were.

“what…? who’s bethany?” The Santa sat up slowly, rubbing their head. “you… you aren’t undyne.”

The monster’s voice surprised them. As big and scary as they looked, the monster’s tone was surprisingly mellow. Deep, yes. Murderous? They didn’t think so. That didn’t excuse why they were dressed as Santa and in their house, though! They knew better than to trust every smooth voice they heard.

“I have no clue who this ‘Undyne’ is, but obviously I’m not them.” Emery bent to pick up a shard of the ceramic plate to wield at the thing before them. “So,” they continued stiffly, “Why the _fuck_ are you in my house?”

Another string of curses and the Santa shook their head.

“listen, kid. i swear to you i thought that this was my friend’s house. i don’t understand how it’s not, actually.” The Santa trailed off and seemed to get lost in thought for a moment. “so, uh… listen. i know this seems really, well, creepy, but i had no idea this was the wrong house. it was just supposed to be some stupid prank, i swear. so, if you could…”

The Santa nodded towards the shard Emery was still holding. Taking a deep breath in, Emery slowly lowered the mostly-useless shard and backed away from the Santa. They still didn’t trust whoever this was, but if the monster’s reaction was anything to go by, it wasn’t hard to see that they really meant no harm.

“Alright,” Emery started warily, “but you pull one wrong move and I’ll…” They’ll what? Call for help? All their neighbors were gone for the holiday. The only family that remained had no clue who Emery was so why would they bother to help? Shit. “I’ll do something we’ll both regret!” Smooth recovery.

The Santa chuckled and raised their hands. “no problem there, kiddo. i don’t need to lose any more of my hp.”

Kiddo? Who did this monster think they were to be calling them that? Emery glared at the monster for a few more moments before opting to drop the shard completely. An awkward silence followed.

“So…” Emery tried their best to break the tension. “A prank, huh? What the hell did your friend do to deserve this kind of torment?”

The monster chuckled and sat up a bit straighter now that there were no makeshift weapons being thrown about. “undyne? she’s a real piece of work. last year she drew dicks in the snow all over my front lawn. so this year i decided to one-up her.” The Santa gestured to where they had been standing before you came down.

Fucking. Tinsel dicks. Strewn all over the living room.

A snort of bewildered laughter left them. Then a chuckle. Then Emery was sitting on the floor laughing their ass off. What a day. What a _fucking week_.

“Dude, what the fuck? Did you make all of these by hand? There’s no way you bought this stuff online, right?”

The Santa grinned widely, taking of their hat and beard. Yeah, definitely a skeleton monster of some kind.

“yep, i hand made all of ‘em. took me the better half of a week to do it, too. you should feel honored to have them.”

Emery shook their head and took a moment to look closer at the monster in front of them. It’s not as if they hadn’t seen monsters before; there were plenty in this city. Skeleton monsters, though? Never even heard of such a thing.

“what? never seen a skeleton with his clothes on before?” The skeleton chuckled.

So, he _is_ a he. Emery had learned long ago not to assume someone’s gender. Especially when it came to monsters. They can be so hard to tell sometimes. Emery knew they had been caught staring and felt a bit bad for it. They picked themselves up from the floor and held out a hand to help the skeleton back to his feet.

“Sorry, I’ve never seen one of you before. Skeletons, I mean. There’s a fish monster that lives with her fiancé, a lizard monster I think, just across the street, though.”

The skeleton’s face went (more?) pale. “you’re fucking with me, right?” After a moment, it was clear Emery had been serious. “son of a… i was so close.” His words are so soft that they almost miss them completely.

“You mean…?”

“yeah.”

So it was like that, huh? What a shame.

An idea popped into their head, a grin spreading across their face.

“So, Santa. How about we take a little field trip?”

The skeleton seemed to be following your course of thoughts as his grin seemed to somehow widen.

“ya know, kid? i like the way you think. the name’s sans.” He held a boney hand out towards emery.

If they had been sober, they might have thought about how much of a bad idea this was. Luckily, they had been taking shots for a good while and the alcohol was still coursing through them, making judgments hazy.

“Emery,” they replied.

After accepting the handshake, they slung an arm around the monster’s shoulder and ducked their head in close.

“So. I know for a fact that I saw those two leave earlier today. Probably for a party or something. As long as their car isn’t parked out front, we’re in the clear.”

Emery had to admit, being that close to floating lights that were inside the head of a skeleton unsettled them quite a bit. But the thought of pulling suck a good prank was a call that they just couldn’t say no to.

“well, in that case, mind giving me a hand taking these decorations down?”

Emery chuckled to themself and whispered, “ _dickerations_ ” which caused another round of laughter from both the human and the skeleton. Between puns and fits of laughter, it took them a good twenty minutes to remove all of the tinsel and other dick themed ornaments and another ten for them to stumble their way over to Undyne’s house. It would have been a miracle if no one on the street had heard them making so much noise.

Sans looked through the front window and smirked.

“here, hold my hand for a sec.” At their quirked eyebrow, he quickly added, “nothing weird, i promise. just... trust me on this.”

Giving in, Emery grasped Sans’ hand, shifting the weight of the decoration box to one hip. One moment they had been standing in front of the house, and the next they were in the middle of the living room.

Still a bit drunk, Emery set the box on the couch and blinked a few times before settling with an awed, “Cool.”

The two got busy with rehanging everything and kept cracking the jokes as they went. With a room filled with dicks, it was kind of hard not to. Once the last of the decorations were hung up in the right house, Sans and Emery took a moment to take a few pictures and bask in their chaos.

Then they heard car tires crunch against gravel in the driveway. Sans and Emery shared a panicked look before Emery darted for the back door. Sans rolled his eyelights and grasped their shoulder and popped them both back into Emery’s house.

Emery stared at him.

“So… can you just do that any time you want?”

Sans shrugged and plopped himself down onto the couch.

“more or less. under normal circumstances, i have to have been to wherever i teleport to at least once before. and if i don’t, well, you know how that worked out for your living room. google maps doesn’t really prove to be a reliable source to go by.”

Emery nodded in thought. That explained the mix up in houses then.

The room filled with awkward silence and Sans shifted before looking at his imaginary wristwatch.

“well, now that that’s done and out of the way, i suppose i should head on back home.”

Emery paused. They really shouldn’t keep him long, but they had to admit this was the best night they had had in quite some time and they really didn’t want it to end just yet.

“Well, actually, if you’re not too busy I could make us some hot chocolate and we could throw on some shitty romcom Christmas movie?”

Sans seemed taken aback for a moment before the grin was back on his face.

“you know? that sounds great, kid. i’m in.”

Emery grinned and made their way into the kitchen to get started on drinks and snacks. Maybe this Christmas hadn’t turned out so bad after all.


End file.
